fully in the moment...oh the joy of a boy and his first dog
For some, moving at a fast pace is the fuel that keeps them moving.
But if we are continuously focused on the next task, the next day, we speed up our day, and just as driving at a fast speed restricts our view to darting glances, we limit the depth of our experiences.
It’s easy in today’s fast-paced world to stay busy. There’s comfort in fulfilling obligations and responsibilities. And yet something so…
unfulfilling.
Being busy can often leave us exhausted, empty, and dissatisfied. And because we feel this discontentment tugging at the corners of our lives, mostly in quiet moments, we dig in and get even more busy…convinced that all this doing proves our lives have purpose and meaning.
And yet…
Busy does not equal meaning. Tasks do not equate to purpose.
We do.
Only when our inner lives are in sync, fully present in what we are doing, does our doing make sense.
Find the Meaning Behind Your Doing
In reflection we realize:
Washing dishes? Because we have food to eat, friends and family with whom we can share a meal and time.
Pulling weeds, cleaning? Because we are grateful to have a home.
Driving our kids from activity to activity? Because we love them and want them to experience enjoyment in doing.
Work? So we can provide, participate, give and receive (and pay bills!).
Being with friends? To laugh, share ideas, connect.
When we “go through the motions,” we forget the reasons and purpose of our doing. The action has no meaning without us which is why we can end up feeling unfulfilled when we are on autopilot.
This doesn’t mean all distraction is bad. Distraction is helpful in those moments when we are stuck on a relentless, intrusive thought that isn’t helping our peace of mind or emotions. Some examples would include remaining fixated on all the reasons why we are angry at someone, belittling ourselves over and over for a mistake we made, sitting in a mire of self-pity, wishing xyz were zyx, worrying about something that hasn’t happened or did happen…(you get the idea; we’ve all done it).
Habits That Can Help Us Be Present:
1. Take control of the mental wandering. Steer your mind to a positive thought in the morning. This isn’t about feeling -- just about thinking a positive thought. It could be a greeting for the new day, an expression of gratitude, or thoughts about what you plan to give to the day. Then, with time, expand this practice of positive thoughts into your day. Set intentional goals (and an alarm if needed): one positive thought in the morning, one in the afternoon, one before bed -- eventually building the frequency up over time.
2. Set time aside each day to plan for the day and for the week. Be realistic about how many tasks you can get done (some productivity experts advise one to three priority goals in a day), expect surprises and possible detours, and then trust yourself to complete your goals. No need to think about each item over and over especially while doing a different task. If your mind starts to rush into the future, remind yourself that you can only do one task at a time.
3. Throughout the day, make a point of focusing on your breath while thinking one word such as “calm,” “capable,” or any word that is relaxing or inspiring, preferably for a minimum of three breaths.
4. While doing a task, take time to really focus on what you are doing and reflect on the larger purpose of the task as presented in the examples above. Many mindfulness practices suggest describing what we see or tangibly feel while doing a task which is helpful in initially gathering our attention, however, reflecting on how a task serves the values and goals of our lives elevates the task from mundane to meaningful.
Our desire in life is not to merely exist but to feel alive. How can we feel alive if we’re absent from what we’re doing? Being in the zone is not zoning out. It’s the opposite: being incredibly focused to the point that all the noise, chatter, and demands of our lives are silenced while every cell of our being is humming in unison with deliberate attention.
Beauty speaks from subtleties – those unique qualities that are noticed when we slow down. The sound of a stream can only be heard if we stand still to listen.
The only moment we have is the one we are in -- it’s not tomorrow’s moments or yesterday’s but the one in which we find ourselves. When our minds match the moment we are in, we are centered. Our energy isn’t splintered and frazzled, we feel better, think more clearly, and have more energy to keep up with our busy lives.
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